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July 18, 2006
sofa king blah
hi. remember me? i am currently longing for the days when i felt like i had something interesting to impart with the internetosphere, but i have become boring. or, rather, i always maybe was boring but now i am cognoscente of that fact. hmmm.
anyway, summer has finally hit my little section of the world. it's been on the hot side of thing for a little while now, but the last couple of days really kind of kicked my ass. we recently had a friend from boise visiting us, and upon returning home she noted that the dry heat didn't drain her as much as what we have here, although i personally can only remember hating summers in boise--and, for that matter, summers in general. i really dislike high temperatures, and while i'm not willing to say that the extended winters that can be experienced here in western massachusetts are preferable, i would certainly take them over 110 degree temperatures in the middle of a desert any day.
we are planning a wedding--this may have been mentioned before. is it common practice for the participants in the wedding to want to skip ahead to the reception immediately? i am super excited for so many friends and family to be coming to visit from out west and here in the northeast, but seriously? standing up in front of them to declare my love for my own mr. hype kind of makes me sick to my stomach a bit. i've already been given very logical advice about the ceremony and what it really means both from a romantic and pragmatic point of view, but that still doesn't solve the problem that i am completely afraid of it--perhaps a few shots right before will help it to not impact my mental health so much. additionally, there is a section of my family, basically the entirety of my father's side, that i have never let know about the homosexualist in me. i did this for various reasons like the fact that i rarely see them, and that they are all incredibly dedicated to the tenets of the lds faith. it just wasn't worth it to let them know because their impact on me after the death of my great-grandmother is so minimal. this is not to say that i have been hiding from anything, just that it wasn't worth it, in my eyes, to let this small group of people know. however, now that i am getting married i feel an obligation to let my grandmother know, and really, it seems like this is just too big of a deal now to just send her a letter three weeks before the even and say "by the way..." alas...no easy answers.
so, that's what i'm up to...a little somber i suppose. also? busy at work.
Posted by Zach at July 18, 2006 10:57 AM
Comments
Dear Grandma Hype,
It's me, your favorite grandson! Guess what! I'm a homosexual, and since my boyfriend Mr. Hype and I have moved to and gained residence in the wonderful state of Massachewsits, we are getting married!! Wow!! So, you know, just wanted to give you a heads-up!
xoxo
Zach
Aren't your cousins from that side of the family (the ones that are coming to the wedding)? Or are they all from your mom's side? I get so confused re: your family because they're all from the same place. You should tell them to spread out a bit.
Posted by: Devlyn at July 18, 2006 11:42 AM
I thought it was brilliant that your wedding invitations contained the funny photo of you and your fiance eating lobster and smiling oddly.
I think it would be fabulous to just send that side of your family invitations like everyone else and not even mention the homosexualness. The wedding invitations clearly demonstrate that you are marrying a man. And while I know that your wedding is going to be so unique and original, I still like the concept of not treating your marriage as though it were some weird thing that needs an explanation.
Posted by: jennifer at July 18, 2006 02:40 PM
nope, i don't have any cousins my age or even near my age on the side of the family (the closest, i believe, is going to be turning 8 years old maybe...) i rarely have contact with any of them, even my grandmother i only hear from occasionally.
i hate to say it, but i think i am leaning more toward not saying anything. i dunno. i'll have to figure it out. i think maybe that i will just say that it was a small ceremony and not a big deal if she ever finds out. hah! i am such a wimp. i am just trying to calculate the ROI or "return on investment" of the situation.
Posted by: zach at July 18, 2006 04:34 PM
You know that there is no universal right or wrong way of doing this (or anything else). So, go with your best hunch and devil take the hinder-most, those who love you, love you, those who don't, won't and there isn't a whole lot you can do about either group, except be yourself. See how wise you can be if you get really old! Good luck and best wishes. Adrien - in sweltering Boise (and father of Leah, Irene and Eleanor)
Posted by: Papa/Adrien at July 22, 2006 02:18 AM
PAPA! i am really flattered you read and commented on my posting. I've obviously heard about you often from not only your fantastic miss leah, but also from amy and other who have been lucky to be around you and mama (as we all refer to you!)
i've actually decided to go the route of not saying anything because my hunch is that telling my grandma will not necessarily cut off contact with her, but rather just make thing weird, and since i already hadly even see her or anyone on that side of the family, i am just going to leave well-enough alone. there could be multiple things wrong with the decision, but to be very frank, after a coule more of the elderly members on that side pass away i don't really foresee much more contact then once a decade with anyone so what is the point in rocking the boat and their little worlds? outside of the political (and i've done plenty and will continue to do so in my career so i'm just going to let this slide.)
Posted by: Zach at July 22, 2006 08:26 PM